Her : You know I cry on my every birthday.
Me :What? Why is that?
(we were talking about what to do to celebrate her birthday. I was a new friend to her. And she was telling me about how her usual birthday goes)
Her : Nobody do anything for me. No surprise party, no gifts and nothing special. My mom arranges parties but nobody comes. My mom do everything for me to cheer me up. My family goes to (nearby city) and had great food at luxury restaurants. But my friends are like they don’t give a damn. I even invies everyone personally through phone but non comes. Just (a name) and (a name) comes. Nobody else.
Me: You are taking everything for granted.
Her : What do you mean?
Me : You know what? On my birthday, i don’t do parties. I do planning for this year and spend rest of the day with a special person.
Her : owow. Tell me, who is she?
Me : Thats me.
Her : What?
Me : I spend my rest of the day alone. Reflecting, doing reading, what to do next, goals that are uncompleted and being grateful for completed ones. In short, how my life is going on and what to do next is what i do on my birthday.
Her : I get it. You are bookworm and do that and that. But you know? Parties are required. My friends, they all post all the pictures of them having fun. You use Instagram right?
Me : No.
Her : why its good. Best time pass ever.
Me : I got no time to pass. And yea i do some entertainment. But that is little up in standard.
Her : lol. I am not interested in knowing that.
Me : Talking about your sad birthday which in my perspective is best.
Her : Why? Only family members are there. No friends, no fun.
Me : You have set expectation on your birthday very high. You want everything to be perfect on your birthday. And your mother and you have great bonding. Which is rare. Out of my friends. 5 of them have bad bonding with their mother and 2 of them hate their family. Thankfully I have pretty good bonding with my mother.
Me: Your family had done everything for you and you did nothing for them.
They have done everything for you to be happy and you are still sad. Causing them to be sad. And why? Because your friends are not coming to your birthday. Which in 5 years are not going to be your friends.
Her : (Telling me her case is different, she wants it and about me? I am different. Its easy for me and hard for her. She want some ‘fun’ on her birthday. And I don’t think she will have a good birthday.)
Stop setting high expectations. They are killing your peace of mind. Don’t expect your friends to remember your birthday or your wedding anniversary (lol).
Your friends are important. But your family is essential. Your first priority should be essential things.
Forger what you do for others and remember everything what they do for you.
And this one is common.
We all take our family for granted. DONT DO IT. They are the ones who did selfless care for you. Don’t aim for perfection in it. Its only good as a guideline.
Expectations are killer of happiness.
Thank you for reading.
Chetneet Chouhan
Now, you may have started something. A new life project or a new commitment in your life. For example, starting a blog. (Why You Should Blog?).
But whenever we start something, we tend to overly judge ourselves and tend to make masterpiece in first attempt. But I want to say something to you. Done is always better than perfect. (Done Is Better Than Perfect).
I have used pictures from amazing artists and photographers on Unsplash. Patrick Tomasso, Steve Johnson, davisco and Orlova Maria.